


Race the Wind and Never Look Back

by Anniss



Series: Race the Wind [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vikings, Alternate Universe - Wings, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Brotherly Love, Enraged Iceland, Feels, Gen, Hurt Norway, Regret, Timeline What Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 13:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2774159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anniss/pseuds/Anniss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m sorry, lillebror, but it seems like I lost something on the battlefield.”<br/>Emil was still in shock when his brother uttered those words. He wanted to wake up and realize that this was a dream, but his body refused to work. He could only stare at the man in front of him, sitting there with a sad smile that completely missed his eyes. No, eyes was not right, it was rather, and Emil felt like gagging, his eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Race the Wind and Never Look Back

**Author's Note:**

> Emil = Iceland, Lukas = Norway, Mathias = Denmark
> 
> Beta'd by KatrinceLaclyon here on AO3!! Go check her out if you want to! ;D  
> There is also a bit of violence in this fic, but nothing gory or very violent, and there is also swearing. You have been warned.  
> This is also my first fic, so please be nice to me! ;o;

“I’m sorry, lillebror, but it seems like I lost something on the battlefield.”

Emil was still in shock when his brother uttered those words. He wanted to wake up and realize that this was a dream, but his body refused to work. He could only stare at the man in front of him, sitting there with a sad smile that completely missed his eyes. No, eyes was not right, it was rather, and Emil felt like gagging, his _eye_. Sitting there, hunched over, and looking completely and utterly defeated, Lukas had a bandage wrapped around his head. Emil knew what was under, but he had never imagined that it would adorn his brother. His brother, who seemed so invincible, turned into this. It sparked a flare deep in Emil, and he gained some control over his face again. Lukas seemed to notice this, and suddenly seemed worried. His wings fluttered slightly, as he searched Emil’s eyes, but he turned his gaze away.

“Please, don’t do anything stupid. I’ve survived worse”, Lukas said, and tried to sound brave and untouched, but his voice was shaky, and there was no strength behind his words. Emil could not stand it. How could anyone dare to do this to his brother? He really wished the snow that was falling outside had buried their dead, ugly face. Somewhere in the far back of his mind, he noticed that Lukas was reaching out to him, wincing as it hurt him. He had more damages than just the eye, but Emil refused to think of those. Before Lukas could get a hold of him, Emil turned away from him. He was too angry to just sit down and accept it.

“Emil…” Lukas muttered from behind him, and that was too much for him. He stormed out before Lukas could utter another word. He couldn’t tackle how his brother had suffered such a degradation. Hadn’t they won the fight? What had happened that hurt Lukas? Emil would find out, and then he would get his revenge.

 

What had been a clear and chilly morning turned into a beautiful, but dark, sunset. Campfires were already up, and the other Vikings had already begun celebrating their victory. There had been a lot more noise during their previous celebration, though. Emil was quite sure he knew why, but did not want to embrace it. He knew they were giving him stolen glances of pity, but paid no attention to them. He had no time to dwell in their pity. He had to find out when, where and who – and he wanted to find it out as fast as possible. If he wanted to have any chance of finding them before they deserted the area, he would have to move quickly.

Therefore, when he felt that he had gathered enough knowledge, he sneaked his horse, Katla, out of the camp. Almost no one saw him, except Folkvar, of course. Luckily, Folkvar was of the silent type, and never spilled out information about anyone unless his or her life was on the line. Folkvar just gave him a knowing smile, a small nod, and then he left with his two tankards of mead. Emil thanked the gods that no one else saw him as he got to the outskirts of the camp. His horse was small for a horse, but not in general. Luckily, she was not very noisy, and she was very intelligent. He climbed into the saddle as fast as he could, and then he was off into the night.

The battleground was quite a while away, but luckily the tracks from earlier were not completely blurred out. He had very little troubles with following them, but the snow was thick, so he had to take it careful with the horse.

 

While he was on his way, he repeated what the people back in camp had told him. The fight had gone in their favour, as the enemies had underestimated them, and they were somehow better at fighting in the snow than their enemies. However, the enemies had a ridiculously good warrior who almost chopped them all to pieces with his huge axe. He had hurt his brother, they had said. This lunatic had almost killed Geir, a boulder of a man, but Lukas had intervened. It saved Geir, but put Lukas in a rough spot. If Lukas had been slower, he would have been one wing shorter. Lukas had fought him by the best of his ability, which was good, but the monster quickly found his weak spots and exploited them. Soon Lukas had go on the defensive, while the maniac attacked him repeatedly. He almost got him when he maimed his eye, but he got unfocused for a moment as the rest of his men retreated, giving Lukas his opportunity. A well-placed elbow to the face had stunned the man, but he had backup, and Lukas was not able to finish him off, as he should have. Sporting major injuries and significantly reduced vision, Lukas had to stay further back than the rest. After bleeding a lot, he had to retreat completely, or he would be an easy target. It had seemed that the elbow to the face had broken the monster’s nose, and while he could still fight, it had been bleeding massively. After that, the devil and his group had retreated, overpowered by them for the moment being. Emil clutched the reins harder, and focused only on the road ahead. He would find that bastard, and he would cripple him.

 

When he arrived at the battleground, it was anything but a pleasant sight. The few who had died were about to be covered by snow, but you could see the red under the thin layer of white. The endless amount of tracks was also still visible, but not as glaringly obvious as the blood. Some black and grey birds had seated themselves on one of the bodies and glared at him. He ran towards them. They were not hard to scare. The birds had been standing upon a woman, whose face was marred with fear, and it was a disturbing and sad sight. Emil could not recognize her, so she was probably not with them, but this was an unworthy grave either way. She might have died in battle and gone to Valhalla, but he hoped someone would give her something more proper.

He did not have time to stop, or someone might find him, but he spotted something shiny under the snow. He kneeled down and brushed away the snow. It was something round and golden, and looked like a coin. When he picked it up, he realized it was not. It was too big, and there was a needle to fasten it to something. When he turned it around, he realized that it was a decoration pin. There were three fierce lions chasing each other in a ring of… Hearts? Emil had to snort; they could have gotten something to match the wild lions, unless they were just all a bunch of fierce perverts. It seemed strangely familiar though, but he could not put his finger on it.

He stood up and put the pin in one of the pockets on his belt. He had to move on. The tracks were visible now, but they could disappear at any moment were there to whip up a real gust of wind. Katla was looking at him from the edge of the clearing. She looked slightly nervous. Emil bet she could smell the death, and it was not pleasant. He whistled for her to come and began walking towards where the tracks from the enemies where heading. He heard the horse trot over to him, and turned around just in time to get a hold of her. The small horse slowed down slightly so he could get up more easily, but once he was up, they were off.

 

He thought about his plan as he rode. He had to make sure it was night, and then he would sneak into the camp. The men back at camp had described the man that had hurt his brother as tall, taller than most, and with long, wild, blonde hair. There had been a crazy wildness in his blue eyes, as if he had not seen the world without blood and fights for a long time. He hoped the brute had closed his eyes when he arrived, and Emil could do a swift and silent kill. If not, there could be complications like having to escape in a hurry, which was why such a small and fast horse was practical.

Emil could not tell if he was close or not, so he slowed down the horse, so no one could hear him. That was a good decision, because not long after he could see the light of fire. Katla was now walking, and Emil leaned down to seem smaller. It would be no good if he got spotted now.

 

When the light of the fire was getting close, he jumped off Katla and led the horse with him. The horse seemed nervous, and its ears spun around and listened for anything. Emil was also on the alert. He did not need nor want that anyone jumped him, and alerted the rest before he had even gotten into camp. After a while of walking, he reached something that reminisced a ledge from which there was a quite long slope downwards. It seemed dangerous though, as the snow had gathered in a thick layer at the bottom. That meant just a very thin layer was remaining. Something told him the ground was something loose and unstable, like sand; therefore, he would just slip and slide if he tried to walk down. He looked for another way down, but felt exposed where he stood, so he retreated closer to the trees. It seemed like all the tracks had turned to the left, around the slope. He contemplated on following, but looked to the right to check for an alternate route. Nope, did not seem like the slope would end any time soon that direction. It would be a massive detour if Emil was lucky, but there seemed to be a lot less trees to hide behind, too. Therefore, he began walking to the left, but kept closer to the trees than the tracks did.

There was nothing particularly outstandingly light about him or his horse, except his hair, which he had hid appropriately with the hood on his cape. He was sure they had scouts out, which were looking for intruders, especially now when they had been weakened. He would have to leave Katla behind soon, because the horse would be too big and noisy. He was not sure if taking the exact same way to camp as everyone else was very smart, so he would probably going to have to walk a bit further and get to the side or back of the camp.

 

Once he reached the side of the camp, he could not process to the back. As there was nowhere to hide there, he let go of Katla’s reins. He gently held his horse, whispered for her to stay and wait for him, then let go of her. As he sneaked towards the camp, he looked back at Katla.  She was staying behind, hidden behind shrubbery and trees. She was looking at him, interested and nervous, probably. He turned back to the camp, as he had no time to be staring aimlessly at his horse. Right now was the most crucial part, other than planting the dagger in the culprit himself. He could not risk being seen, but it was not very hard if anyone with good eyesight really tried. The short distance between the forest and the camp was without any trees, only shrubbery, and the fire in camp would soon light him and his surroundings up.

 

He was so close to the camp when Katla began making a lot of noise. He could almost sneak into the closest tent, but he had to look back and check. Two strangers had gotten a hold of Katla, and two others were sprinting in his direction. He was stunned for a second before he realized that they were coming right towards him. Adrenalin kicked in, and he threw open the first tent before he ran into it. There were several who had been sleeping inside it, and as they tried to get into a sitting position, Emil jumped over them. He ran out through the entrance, only to meet a couple of confused faces. It seemed only the people after him was aware of the fact that he was a threat, but that could change any minute. One of them made a half-assed attempt at grabbing him, but he dodged it easily, before he ran between two tents. He had no idea where he should run, but he had to get away from the people chasing him. He was sprinting towards a long, but not broad tent, and there seemed to be a back exit. He mentally crossed his fingers, and raced into the tent.  It was the dining tent, with a fire pit in the middle, and two huge tables on each side, pointing towards an exit. Since he had no time to slowdown or take unnecessary turns, Emil jumped up on a stool, then onto the table itself. Luckily, no one was eating; furthermore, there were no hindrances in the way. When he came to the fire pit, he took a giant leap, and then he was in the air. It almost felt like time slowed down for a moment. Almost before he realized, Emil’s feet hit the other table. He heard someone shouting, and most likely entering the tent after him. He almost slipped, but caught his footing, and hurried on. He had to get out of the camp, and slip away in the forest. The last part was not that hard, but the first one seemed to go worse and worse as he continued running randomly. When he jumped off the table and onto the floor, he stole a quick glance over his shoulder. The two people from earlier were still chasing him, but they had gotten another one in on the chase. Emil cursed under his breath before he ran out through what turned out to be the back exit. Lucky him.

 

After a minute or two of wild chasing, Emil ran around the corner. Before he understood what had happened he was on the ground. Someone had punched him right in the face. It had not been hard enough to break anything, but he was very dizzy and bleeding from somewhere, because he got blood in his mouth when he tried to sit up. “Don’t bother”, said a gruff, unfamiliar voice from over him. Emil still tried to stand up, but was rewarded a kick in the shoulder, which made him fall to the ground again with a painful thump. When his pursuers caught up with him, they took hold of him in a painfully hard grip. They lifted him from the ground, and the man with the gruff voice ripped off his hood. Emil looked dazed up at him, but his sight refused to get into focus. The man gripped his jaw, and dragged him closer.

“Well, well, well… Look who we have here. This is all the bait we need to bring him here.” Now the man got a tone in his voice that sounded like a bear just spotted an alone animal with a broken leg. As his vision focused slowly, he could get out the contours of a worn and masculine face. The eyes that looked into his were radiant blue, and Emil thought that they could snare anyone who looked into them for too long. The wildness that shone brighter and brighter as Emil’s vision cleared more and more, were overpowering, and the anger and bloodlust whirling together with it made him seem even more hazardous. Wait; did he just call him bait?

“Let me go”, Emil hissed, and tried to break free from this stranger’s grip. The only thing that happened was that he held his jaw so tight that Emil let out a small yelp of pain. This made the man chuckle, which in turn made Emil even more pissed. “No, I think I’ll keep you. For now.”

Then he did something unexpected. Emil would never admit, for the sake of his own dignity, that he let out a whine when the man picked him up, and threw him over his shoulder. His captors snickered, which made Emil bet that the man holding him was wearing a smug grin. He thrashed around, but he was not even close to being let go. Instead, the man began carrying him away. He could do nothing but glare at the men following them, or at the bastard’s back. His captors had been smart enough to bind his hands together, plus the man held his feet, so kicking the pig was not an option. Therefore, Emil resolved to be as rude and annoying as possible. “Let me go you dickless mutt! I hope Fenrir comes and bites off your feet, and that you rot somewhere no one will find you! I bet you are so disgusting that the birds would not even eat your sorry corpse, and the Gods lock you out from Valhalla! I hope Tor strikes you dead with his thunder, and that you get trampled down by wild elks!” he exclaimed, and thrashed a bit more in his agitation.

The men looked stunned at him, and he just glared back with a small, daring smile. Surprisingly enough, the man just laughed, patting him on the thigh. “You have a surprisingly loose tongue! If I were in any worse mood I might have cut it off, but I’ll let you keep it this time!” the man said, without even looking at Emil. There were no doubt that it was for him, but it seemed that the man’s focus had moved.

“Mathias, what do we do with the pony we found with him?”

Emil’s eyes widened. Katla was not a pony! She was a full-fledged horse! How dare they!?

“I think we will send it back with a special message”, the man, also known as Mathias, replied.

“Right away. What should stand in it?”

“Address it to their leader, the one with the wings, and tell him that he has to come here alone, or I will personally execute his dear brother here, or whatever relationship they really have. There is not that many feathers on this one. Tell him that he has to come quickly, or I might get bored and execute this one anyway.”

“Of course. Where are you going keep him while we wait for the leader?”

“I’ll tie him down somewhere I can see him. Would not be very useful to us if he escaped, would he?”

The men around Mathias all made agreeing sounds, and Emil was both scared and angry. Scared, because this man could do whatever he wanted, and angry, because the scum had caught him so easily. Mathias also told them to prepare themselves for when Lukas came so they could subdue him without anyone getting hurt. He needed Lukas alive and with as few damages as possible. Emil kept mentally bashing himself while Mathias carried him off to wherever he was taking him.

 

Mathias threw him off his shoulder at a moment when he was not prepared, so he let out a surprised gasp before he landed at the floor in an awkward heap. It punched all the air out of his lungs, and left Emil gaping like a fish for air. Mathias chuckled, before he walked over to something outside of his field of vision. It seemed Emil was in a tent. He was laying on a rough animal skin. It felt like reindeer, or maybe elk, he did not really think too hard about it. With his hand tied behind his back, he had to shuffle around for a while before he managed to sit up. The tent seemed like that of a wealthy person, but it was also modest about its decoration. Instead of huge amounts of unnecessary things, there were only necessary things, like two chairs, a table, several chests and a bed. The reason it looked expensive was the furs and decorations on the few pieces of furniture. The furs were of high quality, and there were intricate carvings on the furniture. Someone had lit the tent up well, so when Emil turned his head, he could see Mathias leaned over an open chest. Emil frantically searched for his dagger, but it was not where it was supposed to be. His sword was gone too. Mathias must have heard him, for in the next moment he turned around before Emil was able to return to a natural position. Emil glared at him, but he just smiled.

“Oh. You’re looking for your weapons?” he asked, but continued by himself when Emil did not reply. “Of course I looted those off you quite a while ago, so just lean back and relax while you can. Please don’t look at me like that. I’m not really a bad person, but I have to finish my mission. It was never my plan to hurt your brother, but battling turn me into a monster, and…”

“Just shut up already!” Emil shouted, and tears he refused to let go blurred his vision. “You destroyed his eye! He needed them both to fly! Without one of them he will never get to fly properly again! You have no idea how much you hurt him, and yet you apologize as if you HAVE ANY FUCKING RIGHT TO!” Emil did not realize he was shouting until his voice died down, and Mathias just stood there silently. This was the first time Emil had seen him stunned. They looked each other in the eyes for a moment, but then Mathias’ eyes flickered to the side, as if he was ashamed. Emil was shaking with both fury and bitter sadness, and glared at him, daring him to look into his eyes again.

 

A man opened the tent door, and said something to Mathias, but Emil did not register what it was. He was looking down at the ground, fighting with the tears threatening escape his eyes. Mathias brushed the man off, and the silence surrounded them for minutes after the person left the tent.

 

Mathias strolled back to the chest he was searching through earlier as Emil looked up at him. Such an arrogant asshole. He thought he could just go ahead and apologize, and everything would be okay? He could go to Helheim, and Emil would not care. He just wanted him dead and gone, and he wanted his brother to be okay. He knew that one of them was impossible, and the other one seemed less and less likely the longer he stayed.

 

“Why do you want to meet up with Lukas?” Emil suddenly said into the air. He had been looking at the roof, trying to block out the irritating thoughts about his situation. “You have already maimed him for life. What else do you want? Utter humiliation?”

“Whatever you might think of me, I’m not that kind of person.”

“Oh yeah, because you have been proving yourself to be anything else.” Emil said with ice-cold sarcasm, but continued to look at the roof. He did not want to face Mathias.

Mathias just sighed. “It’s a pretty complicated situation, and I don’t know all sides to it. My boss wants me to get him the angel. There is not a single person like him anywhere else – at least not as far as anyone know. My boss has a contact, and someone is paying him more than you can imagine for your brother. I have no say in this, and have to execute the order. If I do not, my boss will punish me accordingly. I do not want to know how much I have fought recently, and honestly, I am tired, but I cannot rest until I have our brother.”

Emil looked down at Mathias, who was sitting hunched over on the edge of the bed. He was leaning his elbows on his knees, and looking up at Emil through his wild bangs. Now when he looked closer, it seemed like he had not had a proper night of sleep and a bath in quite some time. It was both sad and disgusting at the same time.

Emil wrinkled his nose, and looked away from Mathias. Mathias huffed out a laugh, and the bed creaked as he leaned backwards. “This situation turned out a lot more complicated than it needed. What am I going to do with you when I get your brother? Will I just let you go? Will you even go if I do, or will you try to attack me? Do I have to put you down if you do? It would be a shame, because I hold no grudge against you”, Mathias thought aloud. Emil realized he could not answer the questions, and it honestly scared him a little. He would not let them take his brother, but he knew that he could do little to stop them.

 

Emil sat there in silence for a while. Mathias tried to start up a conversation, asking him questions about him and Lukas, but Emil ignored him. Instead, he checked the distance to the door, and wondered if he might be able to make a run for it. There were probably guards outside, but if Mathias did not notice him until he was almost by the door, maybe he could surprise them, and get out without anyone getting a hold of him. The problem then was his bound arms, his lack of a horse, the fact that he wasn’t sure where he was and that there were people that could catch up to him. Yeah, Mathias did not need to tie his feet together; he could not escape unless he was ridiculously lucky.

 

Emil sneaked a peek at Mathias, who was laying down on the bed, legs hanging out on the side and touching the floor. He was so vulnerable like that, but there was little Emil could do about it with his hands behind his back, unless he wanted to jump onto the bed and kick him to death. It annoyed him beyond measure how helpless he felt, and how easy it could be to take Mathias down if he had less rope around his arms and a knife in them instead.

 

“Something tells me you’re plotting my death”, Mathias said out of the blue, and Emil was considering if he might be a mind reader.

“Why would I? _I have absolutely no reason to do so_ ”, Emil hissed, and the sarcasm was dripping from his last sentence.

“I’ve lived for more than a dozen men’s lifetime already, and I have yet to die. It would be a nice change.”

Emil frowned. Did he say he had lived for many lifetimes? He could not be the same as him and Lukas could he? Emil inspected him a bit closer, and he seemed like he could be. He was not old, crippled or worn out. “What… Do you mean by several lifetimes?” he questioned, unsure about how he should formulate this question without giving away anything.

“Exactly what it sounds like. I have lived a lot longer than any normal man has, and I am not completely sure why. All I know for sure is that each time my boss dies; I seem to get a new one that I have to follow, and they have gotten less and less nice lately”, Mathias said, and Emil wondered why he was telling him all this. He had no reason to, yet he talked to him as if they were not from different sides of a conflict, and rather were acquaintances. However, what he had just said just made Emil even more suspicious. Lukas had a boss too, and he had to follow his orders as well. Emil did not have that tight bonds to his own boss as of yet, and could therefore visit Lukas a lot more than Lukas could visit him. It was really just unfortunate that Emil had been visiting Lukas the one time he had gotten hurt, and therefore Emil had put both of them in danger. Finding no reason to reply to Mathias, Emil just kept his mouth shut, and pondered about everything Mathias had told him.

 

After that little revelation, Mathias did not try to start up another conversation. Rather, he got out of the bed, and found battle equipment in one of the chests. At one point, he left the tent, and two guards stood inside and watched Emil. When he returned, it was with even more battle gear. When he took it on, he seemed ready to beat down anyone that might cross his path. At last, a tall and burly man came and gave Mathias his axe. It was a mighty weapon, and it almost seemed too large for him, but when he swung it to test it out, it gave Emil the impression that the axe was just an extension of his arm. Emil felt slightly intimidated, but he would not admit it. When Mathias grinned down at him, Emil just glared back.

 

Then the tent opening flared up. That was the only warning they were given, before a woman with wild hair who seemed extremely tense came through. “Scouts report that their leader is on his way! They saw him, and didn’t see anyone with him”

“Perfect. Are everyone ready?”

“Yes sir. The warriors that could fight have gathered at the front of the camp, and are waiting for you and… This one”, the woman said, while looking over at Emil with something that looked like hate and disgust. Emil had no idea why she looked at him like that, and his slightly confused look only had the woman look even more hateful.

“Tell them I’m on my way.”

“Right away”, the woman said with a tiny bow, and left the tent. Emil looked after her; therefore, he did not realize that Mathias had come closer. “Your brother killed her brother”, Mathias said short and solemnly.

Emil snapped around, looked at Mathias in surprise, before he realized what he was doing, and looked away in anger. He would not feel sorry for a man he had never known, nor seen. Then Mathias grabbed his upper arm, before he lifted Emil to his feet. “I’m sorry”, Mathias said silently, and Emil almost missed it. Emil did nothing but glare down at his feet when Mathias forcefully led him out of the tent.

 

Mathias quickly gave Emil over to someone else, so before he knew it two men held each their upper arm in a bruising grip. Emil stared at the ground in front of him, determined not to look at anyone. He did not want to acknowledge their hateful or mocking glances. Then someone threw something at him, and the rest followed up. It felt like a mocking parade just for him, the brother of the one who had killed their family members.

 

After what felt like way too long, they reached the front of the camp. Someone gave Mathias a horse. He quickly, with a well trained in movement, climbed onto it. He barked a few commands at the people that had gathered, namely what to do and what not to do. Emil was sure he heard something about himself and execution, but he did not want to think about it. It was him that had gotten himself in this situation, and he wished only he had to be punished for it.

The two men who had held Emil let go, and when Emil looked up, he saw the woman from earlier. She had tamed her wild hair into a braid, but Emil was sure it was her. With a ferocious smile playing on her thin lips, she grabbed Emil’s hair, and dragged him along. In the other hand, she was holding a short sword. She stopped in the middle of the group, right in front of Mathias. Emil glared up at him, but his eyes was drained for all feelings but one; bloodlust. “If this one refuses to leave his brother's side once we get him, you may execute him, but no earlier. If he dies before we have caught the angel, he might fly off, and I want to catch him now, before anyone else gets hurt. Am I clear?”

“Yes”, the woman replied short. Her voice was like the snarl of a thirsty wolf.

“Good. Then let us go out and meet him. We must give our angel a warm welcome!”

The people gathered let out a collective roar of happiness, and Emil flinched slightly. Why had he been such an idiot? His craving for revenge would only hurt Lukas even more.

 

When they had walked out onto the plain between the camp and forest, they formed a half circle, with Emil, the woman and Mathias in the middle. The other warriors kept somewhat away from them, making Emil feel painfully visible and exposed.

The woman, who had shifted her grip to his shoulder, returned it to his hair, and Emil could almost hear his scalp’s scream. She pulled him close, before she put the sword to his throat. “Feel free to be an annoying little brat, and come back for your dear brother when we have caught him. It would be a bliss to kill you, as revenge for Ragnar.”

Emil could only assume Ragnar was her brother. A fitting insult was at the tip of his tongue, but it probably was not smart to taunt the mad woman with a sword.

 

The sound of a horse made everyone turn their heads. Out from between the trees came a man on a black stallion. Emil could not do anything but stare at Lukas as he steered his horse to the same ledge as Emil had been standing at earlier. His gaze swept over everyone that had gathered, but locked with Emil’s once he saw him.

“Ah there you are! I was beginning to worry if you would come or not! It seems you like this one after all”, Mathias exclaimed before he gestured towards Emil.

Lukas’ gaze broke from Emil’s, and slid over to Mathias. Anger had replaced the concern when Lukas saw Mathias.

“Now if you could just come down from there and give yourself over, nice and slow, I will spare your little brother here”, Mathias said, and smiled with as much fake charm as he could manage.

Lukas glared at him for a moment longer, but then descended from his horse.

“DON’T! PLEASE!” Emil shouted, and the woman yanked his hair. She pushed the knife so hard to his throat that it drew blood. Emil’s vision was beginning to blur again, but he could see how Lukas smiled. It was a small, sad but brave smile.

Emil bit his bottom lip as Lukas folded out his wings then began flapping them. Usually it would be a mighty sight, but his wings was tattered, and Lukas was not even half as prideful and great as he usually was.

 

One could see how much the battle had taken a toll on Lukas when he had to land. The landing was hard, ungraceful and Lukas barely managed to stay on his feet. A few of the people gathered drew their bow, with the arrowheads pointed at him. Lukas did not seem to take notice of it as he folded his wings, before he straightened up. “I am here. What more do you need to set my brother free?” Lukas asked. The glare he gave Mathias would make normal men hesitate as their courage crumbled.

“Well, to start, you could come a little closer. I don’t want you to fly away with your little brother here”, Mathias said. “But I don’t think you would have come very far in that shape!”

The enemies laughed, and Emil hated them for it. He hated himself for making this happen, and he hated Mathias for doing it, even if he had cried out how much he disliked it. He did not seem to mind it now, as he was smiling while Lukas staggered towards them.

It was not long before Lukas stopped, though. Emil just noticed two archers having positioned themselves at the ledge, and a third person holding Lyngen by his reins. Even if Lukas wanted to escape now, he would not come far. “There is no harm in coming a little bit-“

“Let him go”, Lukas demanded.

Mathias was taken aback for a moment, before he looked back at Emil and the woman. He nodded to her, and she let Emil go. He stumbled forwards, surprised by the sudden freedom, and it took him a moment to realize what had happened.

“Sure. We need you to convince him to leave before we kill him anyway”, Mathias said, as if killing people was an everyday thing. Emil ignored him, and instead ran towards Lukas.

Lukas smiled, and held out his hands to him.

 

Emil was so afraid when he ran; afraid someone would shoot Lukas; afraid he would stumble, and when he stood up, Lukas would be gone; afraid that his brother was a mere illusion, taunting him with its very existence.

It was not before he had ran into Lukas, and his brother wrapped his arms around him in a desperate hug, that the fear let go, and regret and sadness replaced it.

Emil let out excuses and explanation as he tried desperately to hold the tears back, but they refused to be subdued this time. Lukas just held him for a moment, before he leaned down, and talked softly in his ear: “Please take Lyngen and get out of here. Katla is back at the camp. Take Lyngen and ride back as fast as you can, race the wind and never look back. May you never listen to anything I tell you ever again, as long as you do as I say this one time. Emil, please.”

At this, Emil could do nothing but sob quietly. If his arms was not bound behind his back, he would have gripped Lukas tight and never let go, but he could not. The only thing he could do was push against when Lukas pushed him away from him, but his determination weakened. What could he do? If he ran after Lukas it would only lead to his own execution, but he did not want to let him go.

“Remember I am always proud of you, little brother”, Lukas said, smiling, but with tears running down his cheeks. “Now go!” he exclaimed, and spun Emil around, and pushed him away and towards the hill and the ledge.

Emil looked back at him, but he had already turned his back, and walked towards Mathias. Mathias made a gesture to his men for them to get over to Lukas.

 

Lukas looked over his shoulder one time, and his expression was unreadable. Emil just stood there, his head telling him to run to Lyngen and get away, but his heart was telling him to stay with his brother even if it killed him. Lukas had turned his back, so why could he not? He felt like if he did this, he would never be able to turn around again. Never be able to see him as the same person, and it scared him senseless.

“You can get a move on now, silver head!” Mathias said once they had gotten a grip of Lukas. It snapped Emil out of his train of thought, and he stared dumbfounded at Mathias. “Unless you want to go to Valhalla, that is.”

 

Emil did not fully register what happened after that. He just remember turning his back and running away. He remember slipping, but being grabbed and pulled up. He remember having his hands cut free and climbing onto Lyngen. He remember steering the horse away, away from his own chaos. He remember feeling cold, but being unable to see anything. He felt the blood begin streaming from his nose again, as the wound inside reopened. Then it was the biting cold and mind-numbing sadness, as he let Lyngen find the way himself. He did not really care where Lyngen took him. All he really wanted right now was to fall into the endless white under him, and reverse everything he had ever done.

 

It slowly turned brighter as the sun crept over the mountains in the distance, but Emil did not notice. His vision was blurry, and he did not take his eyes off his hands, which were holding Lyngen’s reins as hard as he could. He did not dare. What if he looked up, and his own failure glared back?

 

Even when Lyngen slowed down, and Emil heard someone shout, he did not look up. He just kept holding onto the reins as if it was the only important thing in this world. He could hear someone approach, but did not really care who it was. He first took notice of the person when they stopped Lyngen and grabbed one of his hands. It surprised him how warm their hand felt, or maybe he was just cold? He looked at the hand, and it looked rough and calloused. Someone had bandaged two of their fingers together, and one of the nails was misshaped. It also sounded like the person was shouting at him. The voice was rough. It was probably a male. Now the man began shaking him too, but he could not stop looking at the hand. There was nothing special about the hand, but he did not want to face another person, and look at their confusion, and if they knew him, disappointment and pity.

 

After what felt like a tiny infinity of shaking him, the hand pulled away. It made Emil’s gaze return to his own hands. He felt Lyngen begin to move under him as he studied his red and scraped up knuckles. The man that had shook him was now shouting, but not at him. At something beyond, something far away.

 

Emil could not pin the moment when all of the other people had rushed to him. More hands than he cared to count was all over him. Some of them tried to pry his hands off the reins, but he struggled against them. Voices rushed to him, but again he refused to listen. By the tone of their voices, it was questions, reassurances and even more questions. Emil hated it.

 

Emil struggled against for a while, but he was so tired that at last he could do nothing but give in. When he did, someone lifted him off Lyngen, and it felt like even more hands did their best to keep him up as his knees buckled when he touched the ground. He felt that two people lifted up his arms and slung them around their necks. He looked down at the ground, and his own helpless feet, which did not seem to know how to walk anymore. All they seemed to be able to do was weakly try to move in front of him, but slipping and falling behind him.

 

Emil had no idea how long it took them, but they put him in a bed, and then most cleared out while some stayed. They tried to talk to him again, but he could not and did not want to focus on them. All he could do was stare helplessly at the roof, and feel numbed by cold and conflicting emotions trying to take him over. He did not even fight when they began to take off his clothes, and the cold air could get through the remaining layers of clothes and kiss his skin. There were hands on him, and some in front of his face, probably trying to snap him out of it and get contact with him. At some point, he could feel the sharp stab of pain, and it made him flinch slightly. When that happened, the hands stopped, but continued with renewed vigour afterwards.

 

Emil were not quite sure when his eyes slipped shut, but it did not take long before he fell into the dark abyss of sleep. The hands shook him, and the voices turned louder, but he ignored them once again. He was just so tired.

 

*

 

When Emil awoke, the usually grey roof was now playing with orange and pink colours. It took Emil approximately two minutes of just staring at it, before he remembered what had happened, and abruptly rose.

He tried to crawl out of the bed as his head spun and his vision blurred and became unfocused. Quickly there were a set of strong hands pushing him back into the bed, and Emil did not have the power to resist.

He flopped backwards, and landed on the bed. The hands that had been busy with pushing him back were now busy with covering him up in the blankets. “Whoa Emil, way to scare a poor fellow”, he heard a familiar voice say, but he could not pinpoint who it was.

“Folkvar?” Emil croaked, and his own voice shocked him. His throat felt as if he had not used it in a hundred years, and his voice was a reflection of that.

“Yeah, it’s me. Relax Emil. You are completely safe. The other Vikings have packed up and left a long while ago, so you don’t have to worry about them coming after you”, Folkvar explained softly, and Emil let out a pained sob.

Folkvar was shocked that his calming words had apparently had the opposite effect of what he desired.

Emil let out a few more wretched sobs as Folkvar tried to find what was wrong with what he had said.

“Oh”, Folkvar whispered as he realized, and sat down on the bed beside Emil. He and Emil had not been that close, but Folkvar considered Emil a friend. Folkvar and Lukas had been good friends however, and watching Lukas’ usually strong and independent little brother hide his face and sob behind two shaking hands broke his heart. Folkvar lifted Emil as carefully as he could manage, and held him close, hugging him.

 

As soon as Emil felt Folkvar hold him, he could not hold the sobs in. He almost screamed as he cried all his pain out, and Folkvar had to keep people out of the tent, as they looked worried inside. Emil mumbled things he was not even sure what was between his sobs, but he did not care. He just wanted this sadness pressing on his heart to bleed out of his eyes, get absorbed into the ground, and disappear. Folkvar just held around him, and only whispered calming words. At some point when Emil did not know what to say anymore, and just sobbed, Folkvar sang an old lullaby for him. Emil then noticed how much warmer than him Folkvar was, but he did not feel cold. The old lullaby was something Emil recognized from when he was small, and it made him want to cry even more, but he had no tears left, and only sobs escaped. At some point, he had stopped shaking, as the lullaby calmed him down after he was finished sobbing.

 

Folkvar repeated the lullaby a time or two, and noticed how Emil had gone still in his arms. It seemed like he had fallen asleep again, and Folkvar gently put him down, before he dragged the blankets over him. The boy was ice cold, even after they had let him sleep, tucked in furs and blankets. It worried Folkvar a bit, but Emil seemed alive, and he was not a doctor. After making sure Emil was asleep, Folkvar walked out of the tent. The actual doctors were waiting for him outside, looking as if they had just woke up, which was not entirely untrue. Folkvar had had the night shift to watch over Emil while their two doctors got a bit of rest.

The sunrise was beautiful, and it reenergized Folkvar. He had to ask the doctors to repeat their questions as the sunrise had caught his attention for a moment. Then he dutifully answered everything they asked. They wanted to wake him up to get some food and water in the boy, but Folkvar asked them to let him sleep for a bit first. He was probably very tired after having cried so much. The doctors nodded and went into discussing possible sicknesses Emil might have caught.

Folkvar was not very interested in their conversation after that, and decided to go help the others with preparations. Everyone had decided to wait with leaving until Emil was stable, and everyone had agreed to not pushing the boy with uncomfortable questions. Way too many of them knew how it was to loose someone they held dear, and facing Emil with his own mistake would do neither him nor them any good. Lukas was strong, and he would survive this as he had survived everything else thrown at him in his unnaturally long life. That was at least what they hoped.

 

Therefore, a common understanding and silence wrapped itself over them as Emil recovered.

 

*

 

Emil looked back at land. He was leaving the ground of a brother he may never see again. He refused to cry, and instead froze the tears inside of himself, letting them thicken the ice layer around his heart. He looked at the people standing on land, watching him disappear on a boat onto the wild, untamed ocean. He knew Folkvar was there somewhere together with the others, and he raised a hand to wave at them. The people that had carried him through his sorrow, without a single complaint. Kept the one who had given their leader to the enemy on his feet, and never giving him a mean look. Holding him close as he broke down and doing their best to heal him. They had blessed him with the gift of their kindness, and Emil would never forget them. However, he had to return to his own land, and he would most likely never see them again. Yet again, he felt sadness press at his shell of ice around his heart, but he ignored it. He had his boss waiting, and he had waited for far too long. He had a duty to do. A duty to represent the earth that had given birth to him. He waved a last time before he turned around, and did not look back before the land was far behind him, together with both its loving and traumatizing memories. He would build himself up again, and this time he would do it on his own. He was strong and he was free.


End file.
